Monday, August 6, 2012

UNSENT LETTER

Dear Pretty,

 I am writing this letter to you because I want to admit that I was wrong at that point of time; and if you read this letter then you might forgive me.

 It is true that even after 7 years, I can still feel the plight and a sense of guilt in my mind because at the end of the day, neither you are with me nor the girl for whom I left you.

 I still remember the very first time I saw you in the evening of February when you were talking and laughing with your friends on the terrace of your hostel. And I was sitting in my study room and was able to see the terrace of your hostel clearly from my window. It was like love at first sight and I wished if you were my girl friend. I had never thought that you would also fall in love with me, but destiny had it. I didn’t know that I was famous among your friends as an innocent boy because I would never dare to see any of them face to face. I know that might have impressed you about me and that’s why when you saw me while you were alone on the terrace, you smiled and that was the indication of your interest in me.


 I still remember when I showed you the phone number from a distance that I had written on a piece of white paper. You had come on the terrace on that scorching sunny day and I still can’t believe how you remembered that though you didn’t write that anywhere. And do you remember when you called me several times on the basic phone and every time my dad would pick up the phone. But finally, I picked up once and you reminded me that it was you. After that we used to talk almost every day and soon I proposed you and thank god, you accepted my proposal.


 It was my college vacation and after few days I returned to my college where I was studying science and that was far from my native place. But yes, I used to call you every Sunday from a telephone booth that was not far from my college campus. The booth owner would smile every time I would visit him.


 And do you remember when I accidently broke my hand in my college and returned home for the medical treatment. My friend’s girl friend sent that message to you and you cried and prayed in front of God to save me. I will always be thankful for that P. And when I recovered from the illness, I managed to meet you in a restaurant for just half an hour.


 Oh yes, do you remember when you waved your hand from the roof of your home when my train was crossing very near to your house and your mother asked to whom you were waving your hand and you said, to your friends. I just wanted to jump out from the train and reach you. I know you wanted to see a glance of me and that’s why you went home from your hostel because my train would pass very close to your native house.


 I used to spend hours to write a letter to you from my college hostel. I wanted to write everything on a piece of paper and I would desperately wait for the same. I still have those letters of yours and sometimes I read them and my mind dwells into the deep sea of thoughts. With time we came closer and at the same time, I finished my graduation a year before you. You were so worried those days because your father was looking for a suitable guy for you. And that’s why you reminded me to settle down soon so that we could marry of course against our parents’ will.


 I don’t know how something changes in life so fast that we sometimes don’t even think or realize it. The same thing happened with us. I completed graduation and took admission in Masters. I didn’t realize that this shift of mine would have a dramatic effect on our lives as well.


 I never told you one thing that I was registered to a horoscope site where I would get updates almost every month. Before taking admission to my Masters, I got an update and I still have that print out with me. It said that I would meet a friend or a girl friend in the month of September. I had no faith and why would I because you were there in my life. I took admission at the end of July 2003 and my college session started from August 2003. After one month, a girl took admission in my class. She was good looking, charming and simple as well. Though I liked her persona but didn’t show any interest in her. Months passed; still I had not much contact with her. It was only when we got some computer programming projects and she needed my help. I still remember she waited for me at the bus station so that we could go to our respective places together. That time only I don’t know what happened, I generated a soft corner for her. And if you remember when I called you up from my first cell phone, I talked more about her than me. I know that would have hurt you a lot, but I was unaware of that.


 Me and my new girl friend would attend masters’ classes everyday and would spend a good amount of time together. With time, we came closer and she would even visit my flat to discuss projects and other subjects. One fine day, she kissed my forehead gently and said she cares for me a lot. That incident had a strong impact on my mind and from that very day, I ignored you completely. And it was my Birthday when you called me up and instead of thanking you, I simply asked when would you get married. That was the last call from you. But I had no idea that you would get married soon, but I knew about your marriage only when I tried to contact you on your Birthday. I requested one of my friends to call you up and when she talked to your mom then only I knew that you got married and settled down somewhere with your husband.


 I pray to god for your happiness. But today after 7 years, I am still single because the one for whom I left you also left me alone - - I don’t want to marry now. I lost you and I feel it every second of my life. I just want to request you that if you read this letter then forgive me for the pain I gave you.

 God Bless You.

 John

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